


I Hate Surprises

by totalizzyness



Series: 00Q Prompts [6]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies), Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: Bond is still a terrible person, M/M, Q almost has a panic attack, with good intentions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-20
Updated: 2012-11-20
Packaged: 2017-11-19 02:32:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/568076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/totalizzyness/pseuds/totalizzyness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Bond cuts off all the tracking devices Q has on him to surprise him as a joke, Q freaks out and panics.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Hate Surprises

Q always had a little window on his laptop open, solely to track the whereabouts of James Bond. 007 had six tracking devices on him; his watch, a pin on his lapel, an earpiece — invisible to those who didn’t know it was there, a button on his jacket, his belt, and the heel of his left shoe. It was a little over the top, he’d admit, and no other 00-agent had this amount of tacking devices on their person at one time. But the other agents didn’t have a penchant for dying like Bond did. Also, Q wasn’t shagging the other agents; he had a vested interest to keep Bond alive.  
  
Along with the GPS chips, some of the tracking devices attached to Bond also fed his pulse and blood-oxygen level back to Q’s laptop, which had actually come in handy once or twice.  
  
So when, one day, the little dots on the map stopped moving, and a little alert popped up saying the devices were reading no pulse, Q began to panic. Bond was in England, he should be — theoretically — safe. Q quickly hacked in to the CCTV footage of the area the dot had stopped. There was nothing but a dark alleyway. He pulled up the previous footage, and sure enough, Bond wandered in to the alley, but didn’t walk out. No one suspicious had walked in after him, and he presumed no one was already there to attack him.  
  
Feeling his own pulse race, Q began hacking in to the entire CCTV system, bringing up his facial recognition software to try and see if Bond was stumbling around anywhere. After fifteen minutes he pulled no results, panicking even more.  
  
The one day off he has in months is the one day Bond decides to fly off the radar, at least, that’s what Q hoped he was doing. He contemplated ringing up headquarters, telling them all of Bond’s tacking devices were stopped and his pulse was non-existant, but he knew the response he’d get. They’d tell him Bond just needed some time, and disconnected himself from the system.  
  
“I can’t handle this stress,” Q muttered, his hands shaking as he tried to pull a result from the facial recognition again. There was almost a result, a man in white tracksuit bottoms and yellow Nike hoodie, but it didn’t look enough like Bond, even if it was only a partial. Not to mention the fact Bond wouldn’t be caught dead in a yellow hoodie.  
  
“Goddamnit Bond, if you turn up alive I’m going to bloody kill you!”  
  
Q fingers flew over his laptop keys, trying all he could to find Bond anywhere in London. He had to be alive, he never died. Even when he was supposed to die he turned up weeks later with that stupid grin on his face, shrugging his shoulders like an arrogant teenager.  
  
His facial recognition software had pulled up no results yet again when there was a noise in his living room. The sound of his window closing. Oh shit. Bond was dead and whoever had done it had come for him. Pulling up all his security programs for his laptop, he silently slid it from his lap, quietly tip-toeing to the door of his room, listening out for clues to who the intruder may be.  
  
There was another thump in the living room, that sounded like an empty mug hitting the thick rug underneath the coffee table.  
  
“Oh, bloody Hell.”  
  
Q took a deep breath of relief, physically sagging against the doorframe, before snapping back in to operating mode. He flung his bedroom door open, storming in to the living.  
  
“What the fuck do you think you’re playing at?! I was worried sick! Why would you even do that?! Are you actually clinically insane?! I thought you were dead you fucking moron! I can’t believe you! What the Hell do you think you were doing?!”  
  
Q took a deep breath to get oxygen in his lungs, James Bond smiling foolishly in front of him, a little concerned by Q’s outburst.  
  
“I was only trying to surprise you, love.”  
  
“Well I’m bloody fucking surprised! You’re a fucking idiot, James Bond! I can’t believe you!”  
  
Bond chuckled softly, walking over to Q, wrapping his arms around his skinny, trembling frame. “I’m sorry, Q, but it’s hard to surprise you when you have all those trackers on me.”  
  
Q sagged in James’ grip, breathing heavily with relief to have him alive. “Why were trying to surprise me anyway?”  
  
Bond smiled, reaching around Q to the sofa, holding up a bouquet of flowers. “It’s your day off. I thought I’d surprise you with flowers, and… sex… and then I’d take you out for a nice meal and we’d come back and… maybe have more sex.”  
  
Q let out a tired laugh, taking the flowers. “Why couldn’t you have just run this by me, I wouldn’t have said no.”  
  
“Well,” Bond started, pressing a quick kiss to Q’s forehead. “That defeats the purpose of a surprise.”  
  
“I fucking hate you, James Bond. Your stupid antics are going to put me in an early grave.”  
  
Bond chuckled, squeezing his lover gently. “I’m sorry, dear. I had no idea you’d react this way.”  
  
“Well, now you know. Don’t ever, ever do that to me again.”

**Author's Note:**

> Also posted on my Tumblr; [[link](http://the-nerdinator.tumblr.com/post/36106099703/q-always-had-a-little-window-on-his-laptop-open)]


End file.
